Josie - a true friend

What makes a good friend? I’ve been thinking about that since I lost my pal Josie Bochek.

We buried her on December 1. In the days since then, I’ve come up with this true-friend list, all based on Josie:

Mother to My Mother Figure

        

            Nancy Reinsvold is my friend. Her doctor told her that she'd be dead in July…a year ago. That man didn’t know who he was dealing with.

Nancy is ready

My dear friend Nancy Reinsvold will transfer to Zilber Hospice in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin tomorrow morning. Today we talked about hospice.

Send prayers for my Nancy, a wisp of air

You always hear how an old person breaks a hip and that's the beginning of the end.

I hope that's not so for my dear friend Nancy.

Eight reasons book clubs are fun

I just got home from my second book club appearance as an author.

From these two book club visits, I have learned these things about book clubs:

How I became a mother to my mother figure

 

 

I started visiting Nancy a few years back, when she began fighting pancreatic cancer. I go see her once a week and usually bring soup.

 

When I started my visits, it was from a feeling of appreciation. Nancy had volunteered once a week for years at the charity I founded, HOPE Network for Single Mothers. I was grateful to Nancy for all the time she had given.

 

But something changed. My feeling of appreciation turned into love. I don't know how my feeling changed or where it changed or even why. It just did.

 

Nancy and I say "I love you" every time we talk. She calls me "Sweetheart." I call her "Sweetie pie." She gives me smooches right on the lips and I hug her skinny bones.

 

My mother died in 1978, so I had to raise my children without her guidance and love. That was hard. Nancy is 78. My own mom would be 82. Nancy is a friend to me, but I've imagined her as a kind of mother.

 

That's what I thought.

 

I have known for a long time that Nancy's mother died when Nancy was a baby. In all her 78 years, Nancy has never known a mother's love. Her husband abandoned her and she raised three sons without the support of a partner or a parent. She told me that she finds some comfort in the thought that she'll finally meet her mom after she leaves this earth.

 

The other day Nancy told me something that shocked me. Her wrinkly face burst into more wrinkles when she smiled and said, "I tell my son that you're my mother." 

 

She started calling me Mother Dear.

 

But I fooled her. I call her Mother Dear too.

Nancy after her new "pixie" haircut. Picture this beautiful face exploding with a smile. She hates her wrinkles but I love 'em.

 

 

Nancy is still alive, more than one year later

Nancy Reinsvold is my friend. I wrote about her last summer in my blog post Don't tell her when she's gonna die. Her doc told her that she'd be dead by last July, 2011. It's mid-September 2012, and she's still here.

She's 78 and fighting pancreatic cancer. I visited her today, as I do every week, and we sat on the couch laughing about this and that. Her hardest laugh came when she told me about a robber who drove his car through the glass windows of an Apple store and stole a bunch of computers. Unbeknownst to him, the license plate fell off his car in the process. The police were waiting for him when he got back home.

Boy did she laugh. I could see all her teeth.

Naked Lady Parties

My daughter-in-law, Katie, goes to naked lady parties.

Neil Young and a Friend who Left

My friend Sharon Roznik wrote this, posted By Blogger to RustnevrSleeps at 7/20/2012 10:05:00 PM


"No More" by Neil Young, live acoustic
concert filmed in Jones Beach, New York
Sept, 5, 1989, from the album "Freedom."

It must be the return of a long-lost friend that has me turning to Neil Young (AGAIN).