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Monday, March 18, 2013

Eight cool styles...Don't think so....

Congrats, Germantown Warhawks.
The  newspaper was lying on the table sideways in front of me. I glanced at it and wondered why the front page would feature 1950s cheerleaders. Those hideous long skirts! How could the girls jump in those draggy things?

I looked again, and realized my error. It was a photo of the WIAA Division 1 Boys State basketball champion team, the Germantown Warhawks. Their ultra-long basketball shorts truly resemble cheerleader skirts of yore. Obviously, the boys can jump in those draggy things, but how? (I'm not advocating the tightie-whitie looking basketball shorts of the days of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but there must be a happy medium.)

This got me to thinking of other "stylish" things that are impractical or (in my opinion) ugly:

1. Those butt-ugly name-brand purses, often in drab colors, with the designer's initials plastered all over the bags. Ew.

2. Clothing with designer's names prominently featured. I should pay to be somebody's billboard?

3. High heels with the giant toe pedestals - they look like hoofs. Neigh.

4. Glasses with wide bows like horse blinders obliterating all peripheral vision. (Neigh, again.) There is no way they're safe for driving. And they look like welding goggles. As a longtime wearer of glasses, I can vouch for the embarrassed chuckles we experience when we gaze at old pictures of ourselves wearing faddish glasses. (Consider that a warning, horse-blinder-wearers.)

5. Hair dye, especially red hair dye, that leaves the scalp clearly dyed and visible along the line of the part. Now that's attractive! A red scalp!

6. Pants with the belt fastened below the butt. I love this style because I appreciate the attack of giggles I get every time I see it. They say laughing is as good as a cardio workout. Thanks for the workout, Mr. Pants On The Ground!

7. The BlueTooth constantly in the ear. Actually this is another cause for giggles, especially when I get to eavesdrop on an oh-so-important conversation in the line at the deli counter. 

8. Cell phones constantly in hand for texting - Have you noticed that texting addicts develop a hunched-over appearance? Not your best look.

There must be many other "cool" styles that you think are impractical or ugly. I'd love to hear readers' nominations for my list!


  1. #9: The chain mail that knights used to wear on the way to the Crusades. Often bulky and ill-fitting with a high lead content that could be fatal if it wasn't washed daily in muriatic acid--which wasn't available until 1366 after the Battle of Witz.

    1. Great suggestion, Paul!! You speak as if you were there...a past life perhaps??