I was lucky enough to spend my junior year studying at Loyola University in Rome, Italy. There I met a sweet young man named Jance Reynolds.
I haven't seen Jance since that wonderful school year of 1970 - 1971, but I want to do a post in his honor. Recently there's been a surge of re-connections among my Rome Center classmates, and there was a reunion this past September in Chicago (which, unfortunately, I could not attend).
Just about three months after that reunion, Jance Reynolds died in a house fire after guiding his family members to safety. He was in the process of trying to save his daughter Mary Paige, but they both succumbed to smoke inhalation.
I just received a remarkable email from Kevin O'Connor, a longtime friend of Jance's and one of those who spearheaded our Loyola Rome reunion. His words are worth reading, just to get a look into the life of a remarkable man.
This is Kevin talking:
With this email I want to share
with you some stories and aspects of the memorial service held for Jance on
December 29.
The link below will take you to an article that provides a summary of the
service and the three pictures that were in the program:
Newspaper article about Jance
Newspaper article about Jance
The service was almost four hours long. But not once did I look at my watch. I did not want it to end. From others to whom I spoke, they had similar feelings.
I spoke to Yvette [Jance's wife] this week. She is so grateful for the outpouring of cards
and messages from our Loyola-Chicago/Loyola Rome Center/San Francisco Bay Area
groups. This week, she and Lauren Grace and Sarah Rose are moving into a condo
in Cleveland. This will give them their own place after staying with friends and
family the past month. The girls have settled back into school (8th and 6th
grades). Yvette is out of the wheel chair, more mobile and driving again.
Below is a summary of the services:
Overall themes of all speakers were Jance's bigger than life personality,
the care he put into the work he did, his fastidiousness, his undeniable sense
of fashion, his sense of humor, his appreciation and knowledge of scripture and
music of all kinds and the ultimate sacrifice that he made in leading his family
to a safe exit and then going back to attempt to bring Mary Paige to
safety.
Oh, and his sense of timeliness. Even though Jance had a reputation of not
always being on time, I've come to the conclusion that he was right on time on
December 18. He was right where he was supposed to be at that time. He was timely
indeed.
In the program you see the names of a number of speakers. [Another Loyola classmate] Chester's name is
listed. I went to the podium with him. Yvette had spoken to me at the service
the evening before and invited me to add some elements of Jance's life during
our college years, early adult lives and up to now. I was honored to be asked.
Chester had me talk first as he stood next to me.
For my part, when I started my talk to
those in attendance (400 or so people) I stated that I spoke on behalf of all
you. I related that so many of you had been in contact with each other, sharing
memories and stories and reacquainting yourselves with each other. As Chester
and I had remarked at dinner on Friday night prior to the Saturday service,
Jance had always mentioned that he wanted to bring Chester and me together after
40 or so years. We know this situation was not what he had in mind. Chester and
I have reestablished our friendship. In hearing from some of you, you have had
similar experiences connecting with people whom you have not had contact in some
time. In the
weeks since December 18, I have heard from almost 100 people. You are all
receiving this email. As I look and find some purpose in Jance's death, I think
one element is that in his inimitable way of bringing people together, he has
done that for some of you as you have reconnected friendships from prior
years.
As I started
talking, I pulled
out a green scarf and put it around my neck to acknowledge Jance's appreciation
of splashes of wardrobe color. I then put on a baseball cap that has Chicago
imprinted on it, to signify the location of our first connection. I talked about
meeting Jance at Loyola during Freshman year, how we talked about our plans to
go to Rome center during those first two years of college. He was unsure up to
the last minute whether he would be going. It wasn't until his entourage entered
the Alitalia terminal just prior to departure that his friends from Loyola knew
he was going. I shared some stories of our travels in Europe and Africa and how
elated Jance was to be "with his people" and how he practically gloated for
this time in Africa, that I was in the minority.
Many people
prior to me in the memorial service had talked about how Jance had given them
nicknames. I told the audience that he gave me the nickname Bunky (among
others). I talked about his phone call of 12-16 and how that call, like all our
others over the years, allowed us to essentially pick up right where we left
off. For many people at the service, I learned that I was one of the persons to
whom Jance had spoken most recently.
In knowing Jance for 44 years, I stated that I likely had the
opportunity to know Jance longer than most people at the service and that I
could tell stories from me and others like all of you that would have kept me
at the podium until next Christmas. Brevity is not an easy task for me. Many of
you know Elaine Gregory Swenson. In relating my story about my presentation, she
assured me that Jance was standing next to me keeping me on task, saying what
was essential and comforting without wandering into a litany of events from 1968
til now. I believe there is an element of truth in Elaine's statement.
I concluded my stories with my perceptions of Jance's relationship
with his iron and ironing board. I didn't think of this analogy as I spoke but
afterwards thought that I could have mentioned like Tiger Woods has his golf
club, or Rafael Nadal has his tennis racket, or Julia Child had her spoon, Jance
had his iron. When we shared dorm rooms or apartments, if we didn't have an
iron...and ironing board, Jance would be sure to supply one. Jance actually
didn't need an ironing board. He taught me how to iron on more surfaces than I
ever would have imagined. He ironed sequentially, precisely and routinely,
talking at break neck speed or singing to whatever happened to be on the stereo,
radio, etc. I told the group that I even knew Jance on occasion to iron his
socks just so the dryer wrinkles would be removed. So, in my preparations to get
dressed to go to Jance's service, I got the iron and ironing board out of the
closet at the hotel. I ironed my shirt, my pants, my tie....and then as I looked
at my socks, I put them on the ironing board and ironed them, too. I thought the
least I could do to speak at Jance's memorial services would be to stand there
wearing ironed socks! I closed my speaking time with a remark that through the
conversations and time I spent with Jance all these years, I think we were
always looking for and often finding a way to smooth out the wrinkles that life
presents to each of us. The theater person in me wishes I had thought to take
that hotel iron with me to the service and raise it heaven ward as I stepped
away from the podium.
Jance's brother Keith sang an unaccompanied solo beautifully from the choir
loft. One of Jance's nephews, Josias and two of his nieces (Keith's children)
sang a song written by Josias called "Broken Glass". Jance and Jomaya were
staying with Jance and Yvette that week. Josias was the first one to awake and
alert the rest of the family to the fire. Josias is an aspiring song writer. All
of his music and lyric notebooks were lost in the fire. Broken Glass represents
the glass of the windows. The lyrics conveyed the relationship of Jance and Mary
Paige with their family.
Without enumerating all the remarks of all of the speakers, let me just
list a bit of what was said:
- Jance died on 12-18, 28 days to the day his mother died.
- One of his long-time friends, Larry, from SF told a story about how after church on Sundays, Jance would get back to Larry's family's house before he even got back to his house. Jance would be at the kitchen table, talking to Larry's mother, having already scoped out the food in the kitchen. Jance made himself so much at home that Larry sometimes asked: "Is this my house or Jance's?" I think some of you can relate to what Larry talked about.
- The minister related that up until the night prior to the service he had never shopped at Saks 5th Ave. But he had to go just to be in Jance's environment. He bought a pocket square. He wore it during the service.
- In further commentary about Jance's clothes, a friend told the story about the time he went up to Jance and longingly complimented him on his sports jacket he was wearing. Jance looked at him, smiled and said "This model was retired after I bought it."
- One of Jance's youth group proteges served a tour in Iraq. When he returned from duty, the first person he went to see after his parents was Jance. Jance had helped him through difficult situations in his late teens. The young veteran, now studying for the ministry stated; " In my years in the military, I've met quite a few heroes. Jance was every bit the hero that these men and women are."
- One of my take away quotes from the service: "Jance loved without discrimination."
- I learned about Mary Paige. Here is some commentary that was shared about Mary Paige:
She loved to dance. She could mimic playfully. Two weeks prior to her death, a speaker talked about how Mary Paige was singing at the front of church with other youth. In addition to the swaying and side stepping in rhythm with the music, the speaker demonstrated how she added her own flair and would "get down" and then "double down" in her expressiveness. There were many there who were laughing in amusement at the service, watching the speaker's imitations. Many knew Mary Paige and no doubt could see her moving in just that way.
- Tavis Smiley, the PBS commentator and broadcaster and commentator was a friend of Jance's. They met twenty years ago. Jance was working in LA at Neiman-Marcus. Tavis was then an aspiring broadcaster with few resources. He liked to go to NM, and he could afford the NM candy. One piece for $3.00. Jance introduced himself and their friendship began. Jance said that Tavis didn't have to just buy the piece of candy. Jance insisted on putting it in a big NM bag so that Tavis could walk to the parking lot and make it look like he had really shopped at NM. As Tavis' career on TV was starting, he would come to Jance for clothes purchases and wardrobe advice. ( If you've ever asked Jance for clothing advice, you know that he takes you to the finest clothes at the highest prices. ) Tavis said he didn't have "that kind of money". Jance said "Do you think I can afford to shop here?". Jance offered Tavis his employee discount. Tavis continued to shop with Jance. As he became more self sufficient, he was able to pay his own bills. They continued to visit each other through the years. Tavis was in Cleveland just a few weeks prior to Jance's death. Tavis told the story of one of Jance's visits to LA. By that time Tavis had moved to a big house with a walk in closet for his wardrobe. Jance walked into the closet and surveyed the goods. He opened the drawer containing Tavis's sweaters. Picking one or two out of the drawer, Jance turned to Tavis and kiddingly (perhaps!) said, "Tavis, y'know I could serve the Lord much better in one of these beautiful sweaters." Tavis said to Jance, "After all you have done for me through the years, pick out a few sweaters. In fact, take what you want from this closet." Tavis paused in his presentation to us and then said "Jance walked out of my house with two shopping bags full of clothes!" The audience laughter went up for grabs. I was laughing so hard I was crying because I could picture Jance perfectly in that whole scenario. A further note. Tavis said the shoes he was wearing were purchased from Jance almost 20 years ago. "Jance never sold me anything that wouldn't last".
- Chester talked about the discussions Jance and he had about how much they enjoyed being a father and how important Jance's modeling of fathering was to the young people in his community. Chester also told a story about a business venture he and Jance entered together. He gave a humorous account of how he (Chester) hesitated to put his wife on the phone because inevitably Jance would convince her to buy an piece of jewelry from him.
Jance rarely missed a sale...whether it was products he was selling or a
friendship he was making or a bond he was creating among others.
Kevin
O'Connor
Fort Lauderdale,
Fl koco7351@att.net
PS from Gail - If any reader is interested in helping Jance's family, the Reynolds Family Memorial Fund has been established. Checks can be sent to Cedar Hill Baptist Church, 12601 Cedar Road, Cleveland Heights, OH 44106. Checks should be made out to Cedar Hill Baptist Church with “Reynolds Family Memorial” noted in the memo space. Cards and well wishes may also be sent to the church.
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